Heartbreak City
Aight I’m gonna level with y’all and just admit I’m dealing with a breakup and mannnnn is a pandemic not a great time to lose a relationship with someone you loved and trusted and cared about. I’m far from the only person I know going through this right now and we could all use support. And I don’t just mean breakups with romantic partners. I know we’re all losing friendships during this too and those can hurt just as bad or worse. Anyway, while I was on my third listen through Promise by Sade, I realized that I have this whole website where I recommend things to people so I could recommend MY heartbreak music. So here we are, crying along to some really good music together.
Also, I didn’t want to post this as a Black Music Primer, but all the artists here are Black. So if you’re white and cruising Heartbreak City right now, you have an alternative to Bright Eyes! I promise you these artists will be a lot more healthier in the whole self-esteem department. Also, I made sure it’s music you can move to, because dancing helps. I’m sure there’s a time and place to be listening to paralyzed in a dark corner music, but I haven’t found that time or place and I’m trying to get to the ”moving on” stage. You gotta move to move on.
Here’s the playlist and the artists I focused on:
Sade
[photo by David Montgomery]
I mean, OBVIOUSLY. Already mentioned her, but this is the QUEEN of heartbreak songs (and love songs. and maybe just songs.). If you haven’t heard of Sade, go demand an apology from your parents or guardians. My biggest life regret is forgetting about Sade from middle school until about 2015. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.
This woman sings her heart out and somehow has a way to articulate all those emotions you’re going through during a breakup but don’t have the words for. She makes the perfect scream/cry/sing-along soundtrack to the bad times. One thing I really appreciate about Sade in contrast to other popular breakup musicians is that she captures that desperation and brokenness we all feel, but refuses to dwell in self-deprecation. I don’t need to be constantly talking down to myself and neither do you. Sade knows that she’s hurting but she’s also still worth loving, and I certainly get a lot of affirmation from singing these lyrics.
Anyway, half the playlist is Sade. Trust me, it was hard to not make it entirely Sade.
2. Channel Tres
[photo by James Simpson]
Channel Tres has one of the hottest voices I’ve ever heard. It oozes confidence. Like, for real, if I had this voice, I would believe every thing I said without question. So use that! Singing along to someone with a powerful ass voice makes it sound like YOU have that voice. Whenever I need a hype up in general, I listen to some Channel Tres cuz his grooves are fresh, his lyrics are great. It’s super fun pump-up music.
Channel Tres is sort of the opposite end of the breakup timeline from Sade. His vibe is when you’re mostly over it, you’re believing it when your friends hype you up, and you’re ready to show off how hot and cool you are. Your ex is gonna wish they still had you when they see how far you’ve come and how desirable you are. But you’re on to new and better things. Other people want you now. It’s still a little vindictive and a little tryhard-y but like you’re 80-90% of the way out of the slump. And hell, you’re having fun again! There’s nothing wrong with being cocky and having fun with your homies.
3. Tinashe
[photo by Charlotte Rutherford]
Oh, Tinashe. I think I was a fan of her before I even realized it. She was remixed by a bunch of my favorite artists and suddenly I was listening to her like everyday. She is the perfect middle ground of the previous two, having that full-hurt, but still being super fun and cocky. When I hear her tracks I just imagine you see her walk out of the house of her now ex, she’s wiping away tears, but she’s also a cyberpunk bounty hunter and she’s gonna take out her stress on this next job. Like she’s got emotions, but she’s also a total badass. Plus her tracks are incredibly bouncy and dance-y.
As far as her tracks on this playlist go, she’s the bridge between Channel Tres and Sade. Like, we’re not fully moved on, but we’re getting ready for the single-life party. We’re getting with our friends to get drunk and high and stop caring about the breakup for like a weekend, please
My goal with this playlist was to let us wallow for a bit in the sadness, but as it goes on, we build up into self-affirmation and moving forward. It might seem weird, but I ended the playlist with “The Sweetest Taboo” to represent the next human in our lives. This new human we want to just be around (and in, and on, and under cuz let’s be honest this song is horny AF) all the time. The secret power of this song is that it can also be about YOU. There’s a quiet storm and it never felt like this before because look how fucking cool and brilliant and hot and needed you are in this world! It’s cheesy, but like if you can’t be horny for yourself, what’s the point?
But for real, don’t all three of these artists look and sound like you fucked up by breaking up with them? Ugh, the straight POWER in their energy. This is the energy we’re going for during quarantine breakup season. We’re worth it, we’re not stuck, we’re moving on. We’re gonna make it through all this shit and be back on top (or bottom if that’s your thing) in no time. I hope this playlist helps you on your personal journey even if it’s just a bit.