Screaming into the void or maybe just actually letting myself speak for once

Look, reading blogs is incredibly satisfying. There’s something so refreshing about seeing a curated collection of one or a handful of people’s opinions written on a self-contained website. People can just write whatever the hell they want and it’s so so so enticing. With the current state of social media and as a result of a handful of really horrible falling outs I’ve had with people I cared about, I’ve felt so afraid to express myself. Everything feels incredibly stifling and suffocating and it constantly feels like I’m about to die or that I want to be dead and it fucking sucks ASS.

So today I was on the verge of once again not writing anything out, once again not expressing myself, once again just letting my thoughts die in my own skull and then I read a really fucking sad manga by Kaori Ozaki which is just so edgy and beautiful and it knocked me out of my own misery spiral. And then I danced for like an hour - really forced myself through it, making my body move even when I felt stupid and useless. And then I cried and danced at the same time, and then took a break to fold some laundry, and now here I am. Writing some bullshit pretty whiny ass blog post but like… it feels so nice lmao.

I’ve been talking about writing about masks and fictional plants for literally years now and I’ve written like one article once about Dagoth Ur’s mask which does surprising numbers considering I haven’t done anything since. So that’s what I’m gonna do again. I have no idea how to structure the articles but I guess I’ve got to fuck around until I figure it out. But YEAH MAN HERE I FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO POSTING A BLOG POST AT THE END OF THE YEAR STICK AROUND IF YOU KNOW ME CUZ I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT SOME REALLY WEIRD STUFF YOU MIGHT BE INTO