Zubat, Golbat, Crobat

And now for some of my favorites of all time.

I think to most people, Zubat is the annoying as hell cave creature you can’t take three steps without running into. And that’s valid, but from the get-go I always liked it. Using leech life to restore its health was wild, even if the move was terrible in practice. And its horrible gaping entire head was so cool. I was obsessed with animals as a kid, so I was very much the kid who told anybody who would listen that bats weren’t blind, but taking that misconception to the extreme by making Zubat lose its eyes entirely was so cool. And is also something that actually happens to cave animals (look up olms) so the nerdy child Troy was satisfied. Anyway, I loved Zubat right away and still love it today.

It’s perfectly awful - a gaping maw waiting to drain the life out of you and there are SO MANY OF THEM. If you’re not being drained, you’re getting screamed at until you’re confused and hitting yourself or poisoned and slowly dying anyway. Just a dreadful creature that you can be besties with. And it somehow gets better.

Okay right off the bat (HA HA HA) I have to say Golbat does not look its best in modern times. And I’m not saying it looks bad in 3D, cuz as you’ll see, it slaps in 3D. But I just feel like the more modern games make it less… mouthy? More bulbous but like not in a cool way. Golbat is also awful - its teeth are straws which is really gross. It gorges itself until it can’t fly and also SHARES BLOOD with other Golbat. Imagining this horrible creature vomiting blood into a friend’s mouth is absolutely wild. I love it. It’s perfect. Let’s look at way too many pictures of Golbat in the fun early days where it looked appropriately wretched.

I’ve noticed people with strong opinions on whether Golbat should have eyes or not, and I can understand the desire to continue the eyeless trend of Zubat. I also really love the weird eyes Golbat had in the early days. All buggy and sliding off its face. Also losing the tongue in later renditions is a CRIME.

Closed wings Golbat is also a menace that just levitates and has bastardous energy. Incredible. I love Golbat with its mouth closed as well. HOW did they mess up my little bestie so hard when the early renditions were THIS GOOD?

King shit

Crobat is admittedly a bit of a downgrade. I still like it, but… it’s not just a giant mouth anymore. The eyes are still weird but not as buggy as Golbat. For the longest time I thought the second pair of wings was its feet, but apparently there are little feet, which is also a little disappointing. But Crobat is huge and still ugly and fun and we’re a fan. One thing that is a little disappointing is that in the Colosseum and XD games, they made Crobat’s weird un-sharp grin into ugly Nosferatu teeth and what a mistake to go back on that design.

I’m choosing to believe it’s still real and Crobat has horrible, ugly Nosferatu teeth cuz we don’t get that enough in vampire-based designs.

Anyway, this evolution line is so close to perfect in my book, and even tho they got design-harmed by Modern Sensibilities, they live on in my heart (and maybe yours) as wretched awful Halloween beasts that you can traumatize 11-year-olds with when you drain all the blood out of their childhood Growlithe. Let us admire them together in their old-school Sugimori art glory.

And may we be blessed one final time by the Bastardous Bat - the aptly title Gutsy Golbat

More like Gold-bat cuz that’s the score they’re getting.